November 2023: Boundaries & Disappointment

Hello, November!

Wasn't it a lovely October? I am trying to savor every last brightly colored leaf in sight. 

As we approach the holiday season, where many gather with extended family and friends; I think it's important to remember two things. 

1. It's okay to set boundaries in order to protect your mind, body, and spirit. Boundaries are confines of safety, not walls. We are amidst challenging times in the world. From the devastation in Palestine and Israel, to a heated upcoming election - it feels like there are no safe conversations. Because of this, it's important to remember that everyone has a right to boundaries. Boundaries are not dictating what other people can and can't talk about or do; rather, you are advocating for and vocalizing what you need to do, if you find yourself in a situation or conversation you don't want to be involved in.

A boundary example: "If political conversations come up that cannot be respectful or constructive, I will have to leave the gathering early." This still provides everyone with their own autonomy, but sets the tone for what you will and won't tolerate. Boundaries are a gift because you are giving someone the opportunity to receive and respect what you need - this deepens a relationship. Alternatively, if it's not received well, you have control over your environment and have already explained how that will look.

2. It's okay to disappoint people, adults can tolerate disappointment. Ultimately, not everyone will understand where we are coming from....and THAT'S OKAY! When we were children, disappointment was too all-consuming to handle; so we would throw tantrums, pout, and punish those around us. Now that we are adults, we (should) have the capacity to handle disappointment. Not everyone shares our perspective. Not everyone sees the world through the same lens. While it may be disappointing, we have to learn to live with that. And sometimes, there's even an opportunity to expand the way in which we think, or to offer that wisdom to someone else. We need differences in this world, it's imperative - so we have to learn how to live with people being disappointed in us and trust that it's an integral part of life.

Wishing you an abundant month ahead,

 Lucy