September 2023: Inherent Innocence

Alas, it's September!

This past weekend my partner and I babysit his 3-year-old niece and 10 month-old nephew for a few days. As someone without children, this was a completely new experience for me. I cannot commend parents of young ones enough…it is so much work! Not only are you tired from the change in your sleep patterns, but the level of consciousness, attention, and presence you must have also takes a lot of energy. The experience was meaningful, joyful, chaotic and everything in between. Although it was only a long weekend and a small window into the life of a parent, here are a few of the takeaways I have been thinking about.

1.      Being a parent is one of the biggest responsibilities of a lifetime. You are actively molding little sponges and modeling a way of being in everything you say, the tone of your voice, and in your actions. Because of this, it’s so important to emotionally regulate yourself; kids can pick up on stressful energy through co-regulation. If you don’t know your own triggers and how to calm yourself down, you will ultimately project that onto kids. Patience, calm, and grounded energy are important daily practices.

2.      Kids show us at the most basic and primal level what our core needs are: rest, nourishment, play, and connection. We begin life with this inherent wisdom and we express ourselves accordingly, in order to get those needs met. Somewhere along the way, we lose touch with this knowing and focus on productivity, structure, and control. When we are overwhelmed or run down, we have to get back to those basics: rest, nourishment, play, and connection. Children can teach us a lot, if we let them. 

3.    At 2:00am I sat in the dark feeding this beautiful little boy. I was overwhelmed with emotion just looking at him - he is absolutely perfect. When I dug a little deeper, what I came back to was a sense of sadness with the recognition that everyone starts out like this. However, through trauma and life experiences, we inevitably lose our perfect innocence and build walls around ourselves as protection. You cannot look at a baby and imagine who they will become or what their story will be – for better or worse – but we all start out as perfect creations. This realization was both uplifting and heartbreaking at the same time. If we can remember everyone’s inherent innocence, perhaps we can offer one another more compassion. 

I am sending you all patience, calm, and groundedness this upcoming month.

Be well,

Lucy